Labels

Okay, first of all, I don’t mean labels on books or those that you write your name on 😉 I mean social ones. The ones that people get assigned in high-school and sometimes those very labels, that were just given to you without a care by people that don’t even know you, can haunt you for a lot longer than just high-school years. It can affect you, make you feel shyer, affect your decisions, affect your lifestyle and most importantly affect your mental health. So let me try to explain:

From a young age I strived to do well in school, get a stable good and support my family. In order to do so I would pay attention in class, rarely mess around and do well on tests or homework. So yes you guessed it from the tender age of 6 I was declared a nerd, a geek, call it what you want but it doesn’t change the meaning. And because I didn’t let it bring me down or make me feel self-conscious in any way I continued ahead and only had eyes for my goal and the steps I needed to take to get there. But despite my stubbornness and motivation it still nagged away in my brain somewhere in a small corner. As a young child, it didn’t affect me that much but as I became older it started bugging me more and more. I mean firstly who do those people think they are calling me names when they barely even know me, have barely talked to me and don’t even know why I am the way I am. I mean why do they get to just label us. We are just as human as they are. In a way we are even better than they are, we appreciate our education, know the value and want to make the most of it but they waste it and have no gratitude. I mean I grew up having been taught by my parents, who weren’t brought up in the western world and lived a hard life, to appreciate everything I have. My health, my education, a family and friends so really anger rages through me when I see people throw away their opportunities when others in the world would lose an arm for it and are much more deserving of it.

I feel like labels don’t do justice to the people that have to live with them. There’s so much more to a person and their personality (their essence) than a simple word. I mean we have complicated personalities that can’t be summed up in one word. That word may dominate most of our ways but we all have something somebody doesn’t know about and that special little something will just be overseen if we have a label on us. People will only see us through that label, won’t appreciate our variable attitudes and won’t even try to get to know us purely because of our labels. Also, everyone is different and unique but grouping them under one label such as cheerleaders, geeks and I don’t know what else is taking that uniqueness away. It’s stereotypical and dumb and it prevents a lot of friendships from blooming simply because they have a label. I mean why can’t a cheerleader be smart, funny and cute? Here’s the answer: They can but no matter how hard they try due to the social hierarchy they will always only be labelled as one group and after that, they will only be seen as that one group and the stereotypical views that are associated with it, will be associated with that person.

Due to my label, a lot of pressure has been put on me as well. Because I am defined as a goody-goody or nerd people only see me as that. They don’t appreciate my other abilities but not only that because I have performed well in the past, people expect me to perform well for everything and every time. But I am also humans I also make mistakes but they don’t understand that and when I get a lower mark they almost make me feel bad about it. Because it wasn’t expected. They aren’t doing it on purpose but that feeling arises from questions about my mark or comments about it like: “Oh if she didn’t do well then we are guaranteed to have failed” But I mean that’s not necessarily true and then this pressure is on me to constantly do well in order to not disappoint them.

What a cruel world right? And all that fuss simply because of a label… You tell me is that really fair? Why do we have to have labels, something that defines us? Why can’t we just live freely?

I challenge you to try to change if you were ever one of those people who gave people labels. And if you were given a label, just ignore it. I know easier said than done but I mean they don’t have power over you and there’s so much more to you than a few words uttered by someone. You can be whoever you want to be and if you want to change, do it! Don’t let them rule your life and influence your decision and don’t feel like you have to live up to their expectations. That’s one of the most important things I got out of this.

So that’s it, guys. Sorry it’s a long post but I felt quite passionate about this topic and I was wondering whether to wrote on it or not because it’s quite controversial. What do you guys think about labels? Have you got one? If you have any questions just leave a comment below. Love you guys!

Going offline,

Girlalert xxx

girlalert.here@yahoo.com

Respecting people’s opinions

Hey guys,

So recently I got into, let’s just call it a slightly friendly but passionate debate about a topic with one of my friends because we had different opinions on a matter. This got me thinking that debating is often very controversial and volatile. Out a simple few words; an uttered sentence or a poster that disagrees with your views on a subject either very personal or something that you feel very vehement about an explosive argument or in the worst cases fight could erupt. Why I asked myself?

I mean we are all entitled to our own opinion and are allowed to voice it that’s freedom of speech. Now don’t get me wrong you are entitled to your opinion but the actions that you perform based on those opinions are not exactly justifiable in all cases. I mean for example we can all have our own opinion on a political person but if let’s say you don’t particularly like them it doesn’t mean you have the right to act on your zeal and injure them or spread rumours about them. Those things are just morally wrong. But back to the topic: if we have our own opinion and want others to accept it then surely we should also be ready to accept others’ views on a topic. So in my case, although I had my own opinion I should have been ready to let my friend voice her opinion because that’s her freedom of speech and if I want to be respected then I should respect her and her opinions as well.

Respecting their opinion doesn’t necessarily mean having to adapt your own, be any less ardent about yours and it most definitely does not mean that yours is wrong. It just means that you should treat others the way you want to be treated. And simply try to understand where they are coming from and what makes them have a different opinion. If you want your opinion to be heard you should be ready to listen to theirs. I mean that’s only fair, right? And sometimes there is no right and wrong I mean let’s take abortion. It’s a controversial topic but in the UK it’s optional so you are free to either undergo the process or not. So if someone thinks it’s immoral to abort an unborn baby and another person thinks it isn’t, neither are necessarily right. Your opinion, in this case, is right for you. When it comes to the law, however, there definitely is a right and wrong. Don’t get confused there 😉

You might even be surprised I mean what if you listen to their views and they raised a point you never even considered which could

a) change your views because that fact has changed the way you view the topic

or b) even if it doesn’t change your views, it definitely adds to your general knowledge

So either way, you profit from listening to others and respecting their opinion.

Summary:

Try respecting other people’s opinion more because you could benefit from them as well. Also by listening to them, you are giving them a basic recognition they deserve as a human and if you want them to listen you gotta listen too. I mean it’s a two-way street you have to give in order to take.

I have definitely learnt my lesson and you hope you won’t have to because I basically did it for you 😉

Going offline,

Girlalert xxx

Forget and forgive

So everyone has fights and if you are close to the people you had a fight with then you’ll forgive them or you equally forgive each other eventually. Most people would say that after that “all is forgiven and forgotten” but although it’s nice to forgive people sometimes it’s important to not forget that doesn’t mean holding a grudge because if you the only thing you’re doing it poisoning yourself and believe me that’s just worse. Plus it could drive away people from you because let’s be honest nobody wants to be friends with someone who only cares about revenge? No offence 😉 But instead I just mean learn from your mistakes that could be…

a) the reason you had a fight is because of something you did. So in that case simply don’t do it again. Learn from your past and mistakes and if you want to remain close to them and you know that a certain thing you did upset them before just don’t do it again. I am not saying change yourself because you never should for anyone unless you know you’re changing for the better in which case you’re changing for yourself. See the blog post I did on that here

b) they did something that angered you then learn from their mistakes. In fact, my mum always used to say don’t say make your mistakes and learn from them learn from others’ mistakes as well that will you will learn something from them and you won’t actually have to carry out the mistakes and pay for the consequences. It’s a double win, right?

But basically, if you forget what happened your friend/family member and you could have a fight again maybe even on the same thing and I mean if that can be avoided why shouldn’t it? That way everyone is happier 🙂

So that’s it for this post guys. The basic message is simple: learn to forgive but also learn from your/others’ mistakes. If you guys want to get in touch with me about anything just drop me an e-mail you can find that under Contact ME!!

Love you guys always.

Going offline,

Girlalert xxx