A single snowflake

A single snowflake floating from the sky

Trying to find its way to earth

Guided by the breath of night

To safety or so it seemed

 

Happiness, Hope, Passion filled it

As it awaited its descent

Nearing the lights of the city

Twinkling like itself

 

Up above it all

A picture perfect shot

Seemingly insignificant it looked

But to itself, it was a path it had longed for to lead it to the world of dreams

 

Deceived by the fog of the sky

The breeze builds and builds. A whirlwind of passion

Overcomes it as it desperately grasps for something

But the air inundates it. Trapped the snowflake surrenders.

 

Hurt, hoaxed and hopeless

The world of its dreams crushed

Like a slave to its master it was

Forced to submit on a journey to the unknown

In solitude.


Heya guys,

So I know I have been telling some of you guys I had something unusual and exciting planned so *drum roll please* this is it. Hope you aren’t disappointed 😉

I have told some of you guys I was thinking about maybe doing a poetry section on my blog although I had never written a poem and still you guys were so supportive and encouraging that now that I have written one I decided to share it with you guys. Sorry to disappoint some of you but I don’t think I will be doing this reguarly simply because I still find it hard to write them but maybe I will share one rarely when they come to mind.

So sharing this with you guys was a really big step for me scratch that it was a huge leap for me and here’s the reason(s)

Firstly I am super shy about sharing any of my work whether that be an essay or a piece of creative writing because I am always scared I will be judged for it or it won’t be good enough or something. But I decided if I don’t share it with you guys, my supportive little internet family, then with who, right? Also, I mean I stand for being proud of what you have produced or who you are. I stand for being confident and I created this space so we could all be ourselves and connect over things in life so I would be going against my own motto by not sharing it. I can’t expect you guys and shouldn’t promote you guys to be so confident and shameless if I can’t do that to show and empower you as well. If that makes sense? Also despite me being already in the later years of my secondary school education aka I am going to finish school in a couple years, I have never written a poem before!! WHAT? I know how crazy is that!! This is my first poem EVER! But here’s the thing I just couldn’t write poems before. I don’t know what changed but before I just thought poems were stories but broken up into lines that aren’t sentences and then on a larger scale broken up into stanzas that just took up more space. I still don’t know what makes them different from broken up sentences of a story but I think I have finally established that there definitely is a difference. Poems … I don’t know but they make me feel more emotions and more deeply …. in a weird kind of way. I can’t put it into words nor can I give you a definition of a poem because honestly I think the whole beauty of them expressing emotions and little things we take for granted is that we are left speechless and there’s no word to describe what we feel, really, and there’s no word to describe how a poem does that so yeah. I know some of you guys might disagree but hey that just makes sense in my confused brain 🙂  This poem is also very personal to me because it’s about how I was going through and I am still going through a tough phase with some of my friends and I feel so alone sometimes like a single snowflake falling from the sky trying to find its footing before it melts. If you are new and don’t know what I am talking about I explain it all in one of my other posts: A group but not really(a personal story). I just feel like my life is a bit of a mess and I am a bit of a mess right now but I know I will work it out eventually and then when I heard there might be snow in the next couple of days and there already was today in some regions in the UK the picture of a single snowflake came to my mind and words just kind of assembled themselves in my brain and urged me to write them down and before I even realised what I had done, I had written a poem. My first ever poem and it’s about my feelings and emotions and everything I always wanted it to be. So I am so so happy about it. It’s not perfect and I realise that but hey, it’s my first one.

Do feel free to give me some advice and feedback in the comments. Love you all and thanks for staying so patient with me while I sort through some things. I always find it useful and almost therapeutic to write it all down on my blog and then I find some people relate and it just makes the world seem a little more friendly and a little less lonely and assures me that you don’t have to be perfect because, in reality, no one is 🙂

Going offline,

Girlalert xxx

girlalert.here@yahoo.com

I am so so sorry!

Hey guys,

I just wanted to give you a heads-up that firstly I am still alive and I wanted to apologise for not having posted in a while. This week has been quite stressful and time-pressuring as well as emotional. So even when I had like a spare half an hour I sat down but unlike usually I didn’t even know how to begin to explain things or talk about my feelings as openly as I usually do. I think it’s just a phase because I went through it before and I will probably recover soon. It’s probably just a writer’s block and I know that’s no excuse which is why I am so sorry. Until then I thought I can’t just leave you guys in the dark. I will definitely be posting soon again so watch out on your reader in the next couple of days! See you in a few days! Love you all and thanks for understanding.

Going offline,

Girlalert xxx

girlalert.here@yahoo.com

Safety net

I think almost everyone has one it’s all nice and rosy in life because you have like a back-up UNTIL you become one. That’s when I realised that everyone has one, heck even I probably had one, even though I am ashamed to admit it now, but it got me thinking is it really fair to the person who is your safety net?

 

Image result for being someone's safety net

Okay so maybe I should back up a bit. For a while now I realised that I don’t really have a best friend like most people do instead I have many close friends who occasionally hang out with me. I always felt I was missing out on something and I just didn’t know why. I still don’t know why and I am still confused as to why this is happening to me. What did I ever do to deserve this? I explained this all in one of my recent posts: Not good enough am I? But it never occurred to me why some people were friends with me or why some would only really talk to me on certain days. But then a few days ago, like a said previously I am in a trio of friends and the other two seem to be a bit closer, one of them literally didn’t talk to me the whole day until the second friend in the trio left so there was only me and her and only then did she start talking to me properly and we had a laugh and it was all fun and games. But at home, it dawned on me that I was her second choice and the only reason she talked to me was because the other friend had already left. I wouldn’t say I was her safety net because sometimes we talk even though the other friend is there but it almost seemed like it. But then I started noticing it with others who I am close with but maybe not as close as the two in my trio and I noticed how I was their safety net for sure and they didn’t even try to conceal it or hide it. It was so obvious and I wondered why I had never noticed it before. I guess I knew somewhere but never admitted it for fear of it being true so just lived a lie. It’s one of these things that once you see them you can’t unsee them and you start seeing them everywhere or in my case with almost everyone. It’s also one of the ways I found out who my true friends are and who really wanted to be friends with not just as their Plan B or a back-up but truly valued my friendship.

Now yes I admit even I probably had one without noticing that one friend that I would talk to thinking I just barely “see” her but really I only “saw” her when I didn’t see my immediate close friends. And to a degree, I think everyone had one or two of those kinds of friends and I think it’s become normal because we are so used to it by now. It’s become a habit for everyone to have a safety net. It’s a way of survival amongst society because you don’t want to be seen as friendless or a “loner” but I also think just because we are used to it doesn’t mean it’s right especially when the person who is your safety thinks you guys are more than that, like proper friends, not just a second option. You can’t lead someone on like that and hurt their feelings. We need to be less selfish and look around and see and acknowledge those people and let them go. Let them have their own lives and friends which they deserve. We need to put our feelings aside for once and understand theirs and put ourselves in that position. I know it’s a lot to ask because frankly, I didn’t even know I had a safety net. I didn’t even understand the concept until I became one. It’s hard for anyone to understand who hasn’t been in that situation. I am going to try to change and I know it’s going to be hard but I hope you guys will too. Firstly I think I will do what I should have done long ago. This is for all my past safety net friends: 

I am so so sorry that I lead you on and that I let you have hope in me. I am sorry that I seem to have used you and only talked to you when I didn’t have immediate friends nearby. I am sorry that I never acknowledged your feelings and only blindly cared about mine. I am sorry that I was so selfish and lastly I am sorry for not understanding you or realising what I put you through. I can’t change the past only learn from it but I can change the future and I give you my word that I will no longer be like this. I will no longer be blind and ignorant. I will change.

Sorry, it was a long post but I just had to let it all out. What do you guys think of this? Have you ever been a safety net friend or do you have one without realising? Love you all!

Going offline,

Girlalert xxx

girlalert.here@yahoo.com

 

The Sunshine Blogger Award

Yay!! I have been nominated for my first ever sunshine blogger award!! This has honestly made my day heck week! Thank you so much fairylightsandpolaroids. I absolutely love your blog and you guys should go check her out!!

Image result for sunshine blogger award

The Rules!

  • Thank the person(s) who nominated you
  • Answer the 11 questions sent by the person who nominated you
  • Nominate 11 blogs to receive the award and write them 11 questions

The Questions!

If you could read only one author for the rest of your life, who would it be?

Hmm well the thing is I haven’t read a book in a while and the author I am thinking of writes a few childish books and only has a few books out but I will go with her anyway. The last author I was/ still am obsessed with is Sarah Crossan. Her books are just amazing especially the Breathe series, a series of dystopian books. To read my review you guys can visit my bookshelf!

What is one item in your closet that you don’t understand why you bought?

I have many actually. A few dresses especially pencil dresses which I thought would look nice but now I think how in the world did I ever think those would suit me?

What is the last song you listened too?

Probably River by Eminem and Ed Sheeran or possibly Rewrite the Stars by Zac Efron and Zendaya. I am not too sure but both are equally as good.

Last book you read?

Actually, the last book I read was on my kindle or e-reader and I think it was one of the books of the Shadow Demon saga by Sarra Cannon but I don’t really remember it was a while ago.

Last movie you watched?

Oh well, this is embarrassing but the last movie I watched was Mamma Mia on Netflix because everyone said it was a classic but I never watched it when I was young so yeah. I absolutely love it by the way and apparently, there is going to be a sequel movie!!

What do you look for in a friend? Why?

Umm, well definitely patience simply because it takes time for me to start trusting someone and even then it takes time for me to open up and tell them about things. I also love friends who are good listeners and you can just talk about stuff for hours without any awkward pauses or something. I love having a laugh as well and oh definitely to be loyal like I don’t want them to talk badly about me to others neither do I want them to talk badly about people to me who they actually call friends. In simple terms, if you say you are a friend to someone you shouldn’t talk badly about them.

If you had to be someone else in this world, who would you be (fictional characters not included 🙈)?

This is a difficult one… but if I had to choose one I would say Zendaya because not only is she stunning but she’s a feminist, stands up to bullying, down-to-earth and just all around an amazing person. I also really like Drama and Acting so it would amazing to have a successful career like hers.

What is the most positive thing you have gotten out of blogging?

I would say getting to know other bloggers and connecting about life’s struggles and problems and knowing that you aren’t alone and you aren’t the only person who feels a certain way. It really boosts your confidence.

If you could be related to one celebrity, who would it be?

I don’t know actually. I think I would love to be related to Selena Gomez just because I love her music and she seems to love her family so so much!

Current obsession/s?

I am so embarrassed to say this but probably Netflix. I know I am behind the times when I say this because this series first came out like 10 years ago I think but I love love the Vampire Diaries and also Friends but I have been obsessed with that for years now so no big difference there. Haha.

Why do you blog?

Honestly, I just love connecting and relating to others and just releasing all my feelings and thoughts without being scared of being judged so basically I can be myself in my little corner of the big web.

Drum roll, please. My nominations are: 

Leo

Zovi

gold wrappings

gracie chick

don’t give a jam

happysky7311

RafstheticallyPleasing

Defining Yellow

Maddy’s Digital Diary

LiveNotExist

Rebecca

I think the questions were really interesting and thought-provoking as well as random so my readers could learn more about me so I think I will give the same ones to my nominees. I can’t wait to read your posts guys!!

Thank again to fairylightsandpolaroids for the award. Love you all!

Going offline,

Girlalert xxx

girlalert.here@yahoo.com